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In this post, we share everything you need to know. I think that the fathers of today, the modern dad are keen to be part of it. I know I want that. The fathers expressed a strong desire for an equal role with the mother in the care of the child. Delivery related to the birth itself. The fathers described this as a confirmation and a turning point. All the fathers had positive experiences, even if they had dreaded the event beforehand. In this phase, the men felt that they were important resource for their partners giving birth.
Although they felt inadequate when they saw their partner in pain and fear that something might go wrong, they still found it positive to be present and provide support by being there and providing practical care. The limited period made the situation easier to deal with. In this connection, none of the fathers described the women as the most important. The men saw themselves as participating. Uncertainty about how to handle the child was highlighted as a stress factor.
A crying child, difficulties in comforting the child or interpreting its needs and signals resulted in a low degree of coping. Lack of acknowledgement of their role from those around them was also a barrier. Everything is new and unfamiliar. How are you supposed to hold and carry the child? He is crying! What do I do now? Should he be doing that? Several of the fathers emphasized the lack of a sense of fatherhood, lack of sleep and a depressed mood as stressful. They described a low level of openness and acknowledgement of feelings other than positive ones.
Only a couple of the fathers had thought that postpartum depression might affect men. They found it difficult to talk about their own psychological challenges, even with their partner. If the mother was tired and low-spirited, the fathers described the initial period as especially difficult. The fathers had generally felt unprepared for how tired the mother could be in the initial period after the birth. Challenges that they described included expectations that they should be present and the lack of time for themselves. The mismatch between taxing new demands in everyday life and the perceived ability to meet these demands was also found challenging.
Relational challenges such as strains between the partners and an inadequate network were highlighted as negative. Everything is new to the father as well. Things change completely. After the first fourteen days, you have to go back to work. The mother expects you to carry on contributing and functioning both day and night. And you need to function on the job, so you end up feeling worn out. Coping with practical tasks such as changing diapers and feeding was experienced as positive. Getting to know the child, that the child was satisfied and responded as expected, had a facilitating effect.
A positive bond between father and child developed through the experience of being able to comfort, calm, protect, respond and get a response. The first time you succeed in calming a crying child is a wonderful feeling. The fathers experienced bottle-feeding as unequivocally positive. When mothers breastfed their child, fathers often felt overlooked and outside the relationship with the child. In some cases, a certain degree of jealousy was experienced.
We enjoy ourselves when we are feeding. I am very glad we have a bottle-fed baby, so that I have a chance to take part. The fathers saw the importance of breastfeeding, but were eager to bottle feed, so that they could participate more actively. When it was the father who had the first contact with the child, for example after a caesarean section, this was described as strengthening the bond. These fathers experienced a sense of fatherhood earlier than if the mother had the first close contact with the child.
I took my clothes off and held the baby skin-to-skin. It was special. Something tangible and real is lying right next to you. You can hear that there is life here! A good relationship with their partner as well as a shared understanding of caregiving tasks and roles were described as positive. A supportive network was important, especially in the form of family members. Routines, predictability and potential for control over everyday life were facilitating factors in the early period after childbirth.
The sense of unreality that fathers found dominant during the pregnancy has also been described in other studies. It seems to be most prominent during the first-trimester of the pregnancy [ 2 , 6 , 9 ]. Insecurity may trigger increased stress, and many men experience the pregnancy as the most stressful period in the transition to fatherhood [ 2 ]. The stress may be associated with psychological reorganization, feelings of unreality, changes in contact with the partner and a change in identity [ 19 ].
In this phase, many men primarily perceive themselves as a source of support for the pregnant woman and secondary to the woman as a parent [ 9 , 11 ]. This contrasts with their strong desire to be on an equal footing with the mother when the child is born. The environment often reinforces this secondary role through expectations that the father will primarily support the mother [ 11 ]. Studies place this in the context of the distance and the secondary role that men often experience [ 9 , 11 ].
Ultrasound during the pregnancy concretized and reinforced a sense of reality. The child became more perceptible and easier to relate to. Several studies specifically describe ultrasound in the pregnancy as a turning point for the man [ 6 , 9 ]. It is therefore important for fathers to participate in ultrasound examinations to strengthen their engagement and their bond to the unborn child. Research confirms that fathers who become engaged early in the pregnancy experience an easier and better role transition [ 20 ].
Manageability and control were factors important to the sense of mastery during the pregnancy phase. Several fathers achieved this through preparations and carrying out practical tasks. Preparing the home, car and baby equipment were important coping tasks that increased control, and the fathers had a positive focus on these jobs as their responsibility. Practical control is also described as a facilitating factor in other studies [ 9 ]. Which of the quotes was your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below. Also, if you have any other inspirational daddy daughter quotes to add to the list, feel free to mention them below.
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